“Truth is a pathless land, and you cannot approach it by any path whatsoever, by any religion, by any sect.”
J. Krishnamurti
Spirituality, like a mirror, reflects back what we often wish to see in ourselves—innate wisdom, boundless love, or maybe an inkling of something transcendent beyond our everyday experience. But what happens when someone else is holding that mirror for us? It’s tempting to hand over control to a spiritual leader who seems to have all the answers. They come with all the trappings – special chants, fancy shawls, and the smell of incense that promises to take us on a journey beyond the ordinary.
Yet, as we explore this uncharted territory, the landscape becomes increasingly complex, as if each step forward simultaneously stretches and distorts the path behind us. There’s a paradox in seeking external guidance for a journey that’s so inherently personal and internal.
And while many spiritual leaders help us grow, others leverage their charm and seeming wisdom to bind us, transforming mantras into manacles. It’s only when we pause, pulling back the gossamer veil of spirituality, that we recognize the toll of this paradox—fractured asanas, disrupted prana, and an identity struggling between shattered faith and resilient hope.
In my poem “Disrupted,” I dig into this messy space where our search for meaning crashes into the hard reality of misplaced trust.
Disrupted
Beneath silk shawls and sacred chants,
I once kneeled, lost in a mystic trance.
A teacher—enigmatic, divine allure—
taught liberation,
yet tightened my chains..
I left that place,
a spiritual net intricately spun,
where chants once uplifting,
now felt like a loaded gun.
Still, I hold the remnants—
like twisted postures—
a disrupted spirit,
as if swayed by unseen impostors.
They called him all-knowing,
his words a nectar stream,
but now I see
he only hijacked my dream.
Gave me rudraksha mala beads,
Sanskrit rhythms to sing,
a veneer of enlightenment,
while crashing my being.
He ushered me toward freedom,
he professed,
but misconstrued the wisdom,
leaving my soul compressed.
A power, he avowed,
emanated from his sight,
but it wasn’t celestial glow;
it was a draining light.
He called himself the door, to realms untold,
Yet passing through, I felt not freed,
but in another mold.
His radiance promised an unworldly sight,
but left me roaming in a different kind of night.
Yoga once was union;
now it feels a regimented drill,
a practice that once unified,
turned strict against my will.
My chakras, once expansive,
feel strategically aligned—
no longer spirals of energy,
but barricades to bind.
In quiet moments,
I still hear his voice resound,
claiming responsibility was mine,
in me the lacking’s found.
But even as I ponder the burden of that blame,
I realize that his lessons and my doubts
are not the same.
Through the debris of devotion, what’s left to find?
A fractured belief, yet a resilient spirit that’s not confined.
Amidst the ruins of reverence, what can remain?
A meditation that’s mine, devoid of another’s chain.
I breathe anew, not bound to his veiled deceit,
inhaling the now, exhaling illusions bittersweet.
Though my spiritual map is redrawn
with cautious lines,
I discover a tranquility
that’s authentically mine.
(2022 © Julia Delaney)
It’s pretty common to find yourself stuck between believing and feeling vulnerable. When that happens, it’s easy to just go with the flow, following someone who promises to show you the light. But as you’re figuring things out, it’s super important to listen to your gut, because everyone’s spiritual journey is different, and that’s okay.
Even if you’ve been led down a path that turned out to be manipulative, there’s always a way back to your core self, to a practice that resonates with who you truly are. My own experience has left me more cautious, sure, but I’ve also found moments of real peace and authenticity that no one can take away.
If any of this sounds familiar to you, if you’re feeling lost or disillusioned, know that you’re not alone. There are people you can talk to, books you can read, and most importantly, you have strength inside you that you can tap into. This is your journey to shape, but if you need a starting point, you might want to check out the book “Take Back Your Life” by Janja Lalich and Madeleine Tobias. It could give you some helpful ideas as you find your way.
Be Alive 🌱
Love ❤️, Julia
Personal Liberation
Breaking the Spell ⚡️ Reclaiming Your Mind from Manipulative Ideologies
When the World Stops Making SenseYou know that feeling when the world just doesn’t make [...]
Navigating Spiritual Seeking: The Fine Line Between Salvation and Subjugation
Finding Authenticity Amid Deception You know how we’re all sort of searching for something bigger [...]
The Illusion of the Benevolent Leader: “If Only Stalin Knew”
Within the confines of an oppressive ruling, the hopeful whisper “If only Stalin knew” once [...]
Dawn After Darkness ☀ Unlearning Devotion
A true story of spiritual awakening told through prose and poetry. Based on my real-life [...]
FROM MY HEART TO YOURS
DISCLAIMER: The materials and the information contained on the Positive Pranic website are provided for general and educational purposes only and do not constitute any legal, medical, or other professional advice on any subject matter. None of the information on our videos is a substitute for a diagnosis and treatment by your health professional. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health providers prior to starting any new diet or treatment and with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. If you have or suspect that you have a medical problem, promptly contact your health care provider.
