Feeling Empty

ocean

feeling empty

The winter is here in South Florida. It is the first day of a cold front. The air is cool and crisp, the sky is clear, the sun is bright. Can it be more perfect?!

Here in South Florida, we are really enjoying these couple of weeks of cold weather we get in a year, and I just had to get outside for a walk, trying to take it all in. 

It’s been a tough month for me. Nothing serious. It happens once in a while after working a lot, or being very creative for a long period of time. I felt empty. And it is not that I had no ideas, knowledge, or inspiration to share… It is hard to put it into words… When I close my eyes all I see and feel is dark emptiness inside, and on the side, I see it all there.. all the ideas, projects, recipes I want to create, but I can’t reach it…. I can’t pull it out of me…. I felt pinned….

You know, whatever I do in life, I do it 120%. I give it all I have. And then I feel empty and I couldn’t force much out of me. Usually, in this situation, I’m focusing on getting myself back on track by pushing myself by breaking my limitations,… But this time I just couldn’t. This time I tried to accept it and use this time to recharge myself, rejuvenate, replenish. We all need that… Especially if you achieve something it is good to just stop for a second to take it in, to access the direction, and then move forward. 

It is just like in nature….Everything is cyclical. Even though I live in a tropical climate, If you look carefully you see these cycles in nature. They might not be so obvious like up north, but you can see every creature, every little plant or a tree takes its turn to rest, rejuvenate, replenish.

Just a month ago this tree was so vivid and vibrant, in full bloom… and now it’s quietly resting.

I want to share with you the things that help me to get out of the loop and get over this feeling of emptiness and funky mood. 

So one of the things I did, I turned to the best healer I know.  The best healer is nature, the best healer is the sun, the best healer are trees, and water, and the ocean, and the sand. 

nature

I feel so blessed that I have access to all of these amazing, healing environments around me and I never want to take it for granted.  Just step outside. 

ocean

The next things for me are daily yoga practice and meditation. 

meditation

If you never tried meditation or yoga before you can just sit in a comfortable position and watch the sensations caused by your breath.  Don’t try to stop your thoughts.  They will be there.  It’s ok.  Let them be.  Just don’t engage with them.  Just don’t engage with them.  Always bring your attention to the sensations caused by your breath.  And just sit.  Be still. 

And then, of course, I cooked.  The food is medicine.  It is medicine for me and the people around me I truly, truly know so.  And even though ingredients are important, they are, of course, have to be positive pranic, sattvic ingredients, but the most important thing is how you cook it.  The way you pay attention to the process. 

The healing thoughts and love you transfer into it.  I never approach cooking as a chore.  I see it as a beautiful offering of love and appreciation.  And lately I needed it.  So I cooked. 

And I had my cafe d’orzo in the evening.  It felt very calming and comforting.  You know it is not a real coffee.  It is made entirely out of barley.  One more little guilt-free pleasure. 

What else I did… So when I felt down and I tried to look inside myself I have this poem poured out of me. 👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻

emptiness lives within us

Be Alive 🌱,
❤ Love, Julia

4 thoughts on “Feeling Empty

  1. Ade says:

    This was a video I needed to hear and to see. I felt so much love from inside as tonight and during these days I felt a nauseous sensation which led to a feeling of lost and almost despair.. The tears which fell like musical notes with every word you’ve whispered, filled up this emptiness I feel..
    I don’t know how we’ve connected together, but it’s like a blessing. *heart*heart*heart
    You give a voice to the crying of Mother Earth, her whispers revolving around my head. I bet you have a beautiful singing voice too!
    Oh, how I needed this…thank you for sharing, beloved sister…
    I love you too…

    Hello from Brighton, UK

  2. Julia Delaney says:

    I’m so grateful for you, dear Ade.
    It never ceases to amaze me how we’re all connected. Sometimes this feeling of oneness is so overwhelming to me!
    I’m so glad you took the time and wrote this beautiful message.
    I’m very touched and humbled.
    It is interesting that you mentioned my singing voice. I never sing. I chant a lot, but never sing. But lately, it was this voice inside of me… I wanted to try singing. I truly do. I hear the melody inside of me but somehow afraid to give it a voice. I don’t know why it seems so intimidating to me. I know I have to try one day, one day soon…
    I hope to hear more from you.
    ❤ Love, Julia

    • Ade says:

      Why not…try and sing what you see (in your walks in nature for example). Try and sing what you are cooking. Try and sing out your emotions…
      Be the dolphin, the seagull, the cooking oil that makes a popping sound…warm-up your voice like the heat that warms up your food.
      The way you see the colors within yourself, that’s the way you can hear sounds too…
      I will hear those sounds..
      I know you can do it~
      Ade

  3. Julia Delaney says:

    I will, for sure.
    I love feeling vibrations when I chant. I love becoming a sound. I guess the difference between chanting and singing to me are words… When I chant, I don’t pay attention to the meaning of the words (It is easy to do because chants are in the Sanskrit language); so I can dissolve in sound easily. Same with humming. I love to hum along….
    Thank you for this beautiful inspirational message and your support.

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