The Trickster’s Web: An Introspection of Regret

As for all those cherished moments, they became ghostly replays in the theatre of my mind. Each memory was like an old home movie; a silent, black-and-white film devoid of the joyous sounds that once filled them. The echoes of laughter and words of love were hushed, leaving me the only spectator to these mute reels of past joy.

Regret, that cunning trickster, with its needle-sharp sting, began weaving an intricate web of ‘what could have been.’ Each spun round was a testament of missed opportunities, a chronicle of choices made and actions not taken. Each delicate thread was a cruel reminder, a taunt of a different ending that never came to be.

Regret, the cruel puppet master, tugged at the strings of my heart, conducting a symphony of sorrow. It played on my vulnerabilities, twisted my memories, painting vibrant scenes of joy with the somber shades of ‘if only’ and ‘what if.’

I found myself in an endless maze, chased by the specter of regret. Each turn, each corner, a harsh reminder of moments lost, words unsaid, and love unexpressed. Every decision, every action was scrutinized, magnified under the cold light of hindsight, and I was left yearning for the warmth of ignorance.

As if the wounds of loss weren’t painful enough, regret salted them with the haunting possibilities of a past rewritten, a present repurposed, and a future reimagined. It teased with the illusion of control, the mirage of a time machine, the seductive allure of second chances. But the only reality was the ticking clock, the relentless march of time, and the echoing emptiness where those precious moments once lived.

Regret held up a distorted mirror, refracting not what was, but what could have been, casting long, bleak shadows that danced mockingly over the relics of my past. The reflection was harsh, the reality colder, a bitter concoction of past decisions and present consequences.

But amidst the ruins, I learned. I understood the futility of wrestling with the past, of bargaining with time already spent. Regret was a deceptive storyteller, spinning narratives of ‘might have been’ from strands of reality. And I was its captive audience, bound in the chains of yesterday, torn between the past that was and the future that never could be.

Regret is the echo of choices made in the chambers of the past. It’s the whispering wind that stirs the dust of forgotten dreams, the silent symphony of unfulfilled desires. But even in its cruel jest, it holds a lesson – a reminder that every moment counts, that every word matters, that every action, no matter how small, alters the course of our lives. For the pain of regret is the price we pay for the wisdom it imparts.

Regret, You Silent Sculptor

 
Regret, you silent sculptor, 
carving valleys in my soul, 
each stroke a hollow echo, 
of opportunities untold.
 
You work in quiet moments, 
twisting memories into mirth, 
etching ‘what if’ and ‘if only’, 
on the canvas of my worth.
 
Every stroke, a phantom future, 
each etch, a chance unwon, 
you sketch the unseen landscapes, 
underneath the setting sun.
 
You toy with tender heartstrings, 
pulled taut with heavy sighs, 
replaying missed moments, 
in the theater of my eyes.
 
Regret, you sly artist, 
your palette full of pain, 
the colors of ‘might have been’, 
dancing in my brain.
 
You’re a relentless chiseler, 
each missed stroke makes me see, 
how different the sculpture, 
the masterpiece could be.
 
But despite your constant carving, 
your etching and your mock, 
I found my firm stand in the present, 
against the ticking clock.
 
Though you may shape my sorrow, 
you may trace my tears, 
but you’re not the architect, 
of my remaining years.
 
Regret, you silent sculptor,
I see your craft, your art, 
but while you shape my past, 
I’ll sculpt my own heart.
 
And so, we dance, 
a dance eternal, 
two sculptors in a play, 
one shaping what has been,
one forming the new day.

(2021 © Julia Delaney)

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