The surgeries were grueling, the chemo a relentless assault on my body. But more than the physical toll, the most devastating blow was the impact on my cognitive function. The condition known as the “chemo brain” ravaged my mind, robbing me of my ability to read, write, listen to TV, and even, at times, comprehend speech. Words, once my friends and companions, became elusive strangers.

My writing, my poetry, my very ability to communicate, all stripped away. Often, I found myself adrift in a world I no longer understood, reaching for familiar landmarks that had vanished. Conversations turned into frustrating puzzles, and I withdrew further into isolation, a prisoner in my mind.

No Words

A fog in my mind,
a storm in my soul,
words lost in whirlwinds,
no longer whole,
fragments and pieces,
they drift and they flee,
once friends, now strangers,
tormenting me.

Where is the sense, the clarity, the grace?
Lost in confusion,
in time, in space,
not a word,
but a cry,
a scream,
a thunder,
a lightning,
a nightmarish dream.

People speak,
their voices clash,
words collide,
a meaningless crash.
Anger rises,
patience thins,
in a world of noise where no one wins.

Rain on my skin,
a tropical storm,
my tears,
my fears,
a new world is born,
in screams lost in thunder,
in eyes lost in rain,
a connection to nature,
my only sane.

The rhythm of waves,
the whisper of trees,
the song of the earth,
brings me to ease;
The touch of the wind,
the kiss of the sea,
in loss I found,
I found the essence of me.

The world keeps spinning,
but now I know,
beyond words and noise,
there’s a deeper glow,
a raw,
a real,
a rhythm so divine,
in silence,
I find,
life’s most beautiful line.

(2017 © Julia Delaney)

no words

Be Alive 🌱
Love ❤️, Julia



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